Up until last year I always had high hopes for my birthday to be "perfect" with little plans to make anything happen, and would just allow myself to get bitterly disappointed if things didn’t go as desired. Basically sums up my life up until that point too: High aspirations, no plan of action, no faith in the Universe, just wishing for things to work out, while constantly feeling disappointed.
Now that I’ve traded the mindset of wishing things would work out (while secretly feeling like they never would) to TRUSTING and KNOWING that exactly what I need comes to me all the time, I never need to worry about a “bad” birthday again. In fact I know that worrying is equivalent to wishing for something bad to happen (credit for that goes to Jen Sincero's book "You Are A Badass at Making Money", which I am currently reading and LOVING).
However, this trust in the Universe isn’t without effort. Just because I TRUST and KNOW things will work out, doesn’t mean I don’t get tested.
And on my birthday this Sunday, I got tested.
Here’s what went down...
On Saturday, the day before my birthday, I had THE MOST INCREDIBLE DAY. I was invited to a VIP mastermind with the great Love Warrior Goddess, Andee Love, and 10 other incredible souls. We met up in the luxurious Ocean House in Rhode Island where I INSTANTLY felt like my net worth increased just for stepping foot inside. I'm sure you can see why from the picture below. Conan O'Brien was even strolling around the place while we were there!
We talked about mindset, and money, and business, and spirituality. All things those who follow me know I’m game to have high vibe convos around these topics any day. I felt so empowered, so at peace, so loved and so READY TO GET TO WORK!
It was purely blissful.
Afterwards, I even got to play a mini-concert of my dreams in the MOST GORGEOUS location I could imagine. See?
I was in heaven.
When it was time to part ways, after hours and hours of glowing from all the love around this amazing crew, my boyfriend Aaron and I drove out to Providence, Rhode Island where we planned to stay the night so I could wake up and spend my whole birthday on the beach.
Those of you who know their geography better than me may be like, “wait a minute, she booked a hotel in Providence to wake up on the beach!?”
If you’re thinking that right now, God did I need you when I was booking this place!!!
First of all, I totally had a dream about this place before which is what drew me to it when I was scrolling through hotels online.
Secondly, I TOTALLLLLLY thought Providence, RI was Provincetown, MA, an adorable beach town.
I don’t know HOW I made this mistake. I used to live in Mass. But, alas, we arrive in a city with tall buildings and traffic and the mistake I made began to sink in.
We enter the stunning Biltmore Hotel and I’m feeling really fancy. I’m told at the front desk that our hotel room is on the 16th floor and I’m like “SWEET! A view!”
How could you not be impressed with a ceiling like this!?
We get off on the 16th floor and we look to the left, then to the right and we notice our hotel room number isn’t in either direction...until we realize, to our utter disappointment, that our room is facing the elevators. We’re not down any hall. No, we’re directly next to the noisiest possible spot.
Then we go into the room.
It was called a “Deluxe King” on Hotels.com. Ain’t nothing “deluxe” about this closet of a room. Not only was it very tiny (with a strangely tall bed we had to climb up onto), there were brown stains (allow your imagine to figure out what they were...I sure did) on my pillowcase and on the shower curtain. And that view I was excited for? Obstructed by a non-functioning elevator. Hmmmm...definitely some symbolism in there!
Furthermore, an entire wedding party (including the bride in her beautiful dress) decided to hang at the elevators and laugh and shout and have the time of their life at midnight.
I LOVE me a good night’s sleep. Especially before what I desire to be a big day on the beach.
But I also respect a bride and groom just trying to celebrate, so I didn’t interrupt.
I did, however, get pissed. I had been on this HIGH from my VIP day and thought nothing could bring me down and then not only am I in a completely different city than I thought I was, I’m also in a hotel room that grossed me out and was too noisy to sleep in.
All of those earlier fears of not having the “perfect” birthday were resurfacing.
I knew if I didn’t realign with love that it would keep spiraling downhill. We attract what we focus on and while I wanted to honor my emotions (predominantly anger and disappointment), I didn’t want to dwell on them and attract more of them. I had to use my tools and return to my trust in the Universe.